Couch spud

Mornings somehow have become longer but shorter. Getting up daily around 6am would previously have been quite a challenge, but also rewarding in the sense that I’d get 2 hours of time to myself before preparing for work. Now the baby somehow makes time fly past, even when we’re not doing much but playing and failing to put him to sleep. It’ll be 8:30 before I even look. Still fun, so far. Probably more fun for me than Marika, as she’s stuck doing most of the heavy lifting. It actually is heavy lifting now, since he’s gaining 300-450g per week lately. Catching up after being born small, I guess.

We haven’t really established much of a routine yet, kind of don’t care but also kind of looking forward to it.

I’d write more but he’s decided sleeping isn’t for him right now… Better check in.


It’s Christmas again

Hello darlings. Merry Christmas. This year Marika and I made our own gift for ourselves and our families – a baby boy.

He alternates between being wrapped and unwrapped like a hand-me-down present. He also occasionally leaves a little surprise behind in his nappy for us. We wouldn’t change anything for the world.

My gift to Marika this morning was letting her catch up on some sleep while I held the little fellow. Job done.

So we’re doing Christmas at our place for the first time. Only my parents and Elina & Meelis will be attending. That’s 7, not too bad for a small flat such as ours. I’m hoping the weather stays moderate so we can enjoy the balcony and our shade umbrella. I’m also hoping the barbecue doesn’t run out of gas, since I actually haven’t started it after the first week of January this year. Keep your fingers crossed for yet another Christmas miracle.

Still working where I’ve always worked, but now I’ve transferred roles to become a project manager. Did a certification and everything. Going alright so far. No one wants to read about work though, right?

I’m currently signed up to about 4 online courses for further certification. I have no idea how I’ll get through them, as I find it quite difficult to study with videos. Having live teachers and courses has spoiled me. Having also developed a short attention span over the years doesn’t make it any easier. Still, if I get through them I’ll be pretty chuffed with myself… Although they have very little to do with project work. Maybe 25% of it. Yep.

Marika is on maternity leave until sometime next year. I’m partly jealous but also sympathetic. Child-rearing housewives are effectively single mothers for half the day or more, and it’s tough. I’d probably still take that deal if I could produce my own milk.

So yeah, I’ve now got a few decades of kid stuff to go through now. Already started playing Christmas songs through the flat even though they’re painful and sonny boy is too young to realise what’s going on. Sacrifices, right?

See you all soon.

Sympathy for the blog

Well, holy cow.

I sporadically check my [this] site (narcissist, a lot) and typically just shrug and feel bad about not updating as frequently or as passionately as I used to… The action is fruitless yet I can’t repel the initiative until it’s done. It’s my own site – I know I never do anything with it, yet I check it as if I expect something new to have occurred. It’s like opening an empty refrigerator every hour when you’re bored and expecting a new, delicious food to appear out of nowhere, patiently waiting to be consumed: no matter how many times you try you’re met with denial, self-pity and defeat.

Yes, back in the LiveJournal days things were rosier and friendlier and more conversational and, well, raw. I’ve (semi) often reflected upon how often and candidly I would catalogue my general life experiences (to an embarassing degree, usually). (I even self-critique my use of bracketed asides. I can’t help that. I’ve always found it difficult to only write about one thing at a time when my mind naturally wanders. This is probably of zero interest to you, dear reader, but it’s important for/to me to jot this down. For some as yet unexplained reason)

Regardless, those days have, sadly, long gone for this blog. I do miss them. Somehow they felt simpler. More like an actual journal of thoughts and feelings that I unabashedly shared with the world. Or the web, at least. I guess that it’s still mostly private though if this page only gets 10 hits per month. Even if those 10 hits are probably some form of spam bot. Hi.

Strangely enough, the older I get the more difficult I find it to commit to a routine. Even for breakfast. My “internet experience” has gotten a lot smaller and I find myself only browsing the same handful of sites regularly. I have a lot of pages bookmarked for legitimate reasons but I never really find myself caring/energetic/curious enough to bother both checking and reading them. That is, I might randomly click on one once a month but then decide I can’t be arsed reading their updates. I suppose that’s why this blog has no traffic either.

Anyway. I’m a bit drunk writing this (when else do I ever update?) but even then I sound like I’m on a pointless whinging ramble.

Let’s document some facts (sorry, I know I always end up doing this and become dismissive during it). Someone may be interested in it some day. Maybe I’ll have great-grandchildren who give a shit what their previously 32 year old, dead, great-grandfather felt and thought one Wednesday night.

Marriage is good (hi Marika).
Work is work but things are spinning around to what I kind of want… so that’s good overall.
House is good.
I’m still not a handyman.
Another school reunion is occurring this year. I hope it’s good.
My bowling is very inconsistent.
My patience for games is down.
My poker is dead.
During the week I can’t wait for the weekend.
During the weekend I have no idea what to do with my free time and generally end up sad or drunk in soft-depression for wasting it.
I’m (99% of the time) sticking to my latest P90X3 routine which is keeping me somewhat fit and strong. When I run/jog however my heart feels like it’s dying. I guess I’m fit for sprinting.
Our bar is afloat.
I’m polishing off all of our remaining whisky and red wine (almost single handedly) because I want to get rid of it. In an efficient way, kind of.

Meh. Long enough.

Pardon me, dear. I kind of forgot about you.

Seriously. I forgot this was here for a while. It’s ok now, I think. I’m here. It’ll be alright now.

Life? Life’s been ok. Thanks for asking. Since my last update I believe I’ve gone back to that KFC once, maybe twice. It’s been a while. Both times were reasonable experiences but not up to the standard of the first one. I haven’t had much to eat today so far and mentioning the dirty bird is making my stomach grumble. Let’s move on, shall we?

Tonight we’re going to see the Dead Kennedys for our second time. It should be fun. Last time was a few years back at the Manning Bar and we both really enjoyed it. Not sure what to expect this time around but if it sounds as good as the previous gig we’re in for a treat. The major dilemma I have is deciding whether to drive in and not drink or get drunk and train in. I better check the set times.

One big news item in the gap between posts I suppose is that Marika’s sister got married. We spent 3 weeks back in the isamaa and managed to catch up with shitloads of people, really, before and after the wedding. Even during the wedding actually, as they used the same photographer that we did. Small world, small country.

The other big news is that we bought into a nifty little bar. Yep, Marika and I are publicans. Well, partly. It’s in Estonia and we’re not, so we can’t get sloshed on our own supply unfortunately. Maybe that’s for the best. Anyway. Cool, right? Yes. It’s only relatively new but already popular. Now we just need to take over the world.

It also means we should probably get a real accountant. I even started dabbling in the stock market, although I don’t really intend to invest much. It’s just a curiosity at this stage. Accountants sort all that shit out for you. I think. The website says they do.

Life achievements:

  • We’re well past both year 1 wedding anniversaries. Go team.
  • Air conditioner has been installed in our apartment (pending strata approval, oops).
  • Fly screens have been installed in our apartment windows (pending strata approval but I mean come on) but not on the sliding doors because the doors are retarded and might need to get re-done.
  • I just set up a Sonos sound system so now we can have multi room audio. Well, currently it’s single room plus the balcony if we want but let’s see how far down the rabbit hole we go.

Honourable mention: both Marika and I are able to do proper pull ups now. We’re strong enough now that any risk of injury is more likely to be from the bar falling out of the door frame than of us dislocating our arms from their sockets.

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2014-07-29 19.09.26


On a whim I pissed away a respectable chunk of change on getting some blank keycaps for both of my Duckys. Now I have a colourful yet indecipherable range of input devices to the amazement of all.

Yes, mixed and matched. Sorry if the aesthetic offends anyone.

Apart from these kinds of distractions I don’t really have a lot going on. Both of us are working and I for one don’t have any holidays left. Marika still has a million because she gets spoilt by her company. I’m still jealous.

Maybe I’ll tell you how the concert went next time.

Time for leisure

Today feels like one of those days. One of those days where I may end up regurgitating spicy dredgings.

I have nothing to do. The weather is half decent. I woke up early. I did the shit, shower and shave combo, sans shave. Made some tasty buttered “whisky marmalade” toast for breakfast accompanied by a lazy plain black coffee. You know the kind, when you just pour hot water over grinds that have been scooped into the bottom of the mug. Tastes just as good as filtered if you ask me.


Like this, but not as fancy or dainty – bigger and heartier instead (because I’m a man).

I started dilly-dallying around online, skimming over whatever pointless articles or forum posts or emails or shopping deals my browser could scour up from the blandest corners of the web. I was utterly bored and I knew it.

Well! A wave of motivation began to swell inside me. Partially charged by hunger, partially by greed and partially by the need to do something. Anything.

I decided to have KFC for late brunch.

I don’t know where the sense of urgency for the Colonel’s secret herbs and spices came from. I imagine the cravings I experienced were akin to those a pregnant woman might endure. My mind had wholly absorbed with purpose: eat some chicken.

I headed out, on foot, deluding myself that walking there rather than opting for  the drive-through would swing the pendulum of guilt and gluttony back towards equilibrium. I even consciously sidetracked myself to inspect the local community garden/church/graveyard out of curiosity. It was colourful and creepy. I tried to find more reasons to delay the inevitable return to my journey but alas, there was nothing and no-one else to peek at and judge internally. I had to press onward.

I trudged along the path in front of me, half willing, half reluctant. Why did I allow myself to begin this? Was I that weak? Couldn’t I have just had another slice of toast? Why didn’t I just have serial or at worst, a sausage roll from the service station nearby? Coming to terms with the death grip that my stomach and subconscious had over me was proving to be difficult. My legs were just puppet legs, being pulled along by an unseen force. My tummy grumbled and growled louder than my internal rational monologue could plead, drowning it out.

Up ahead, I saw something. Something big. Something standout. A beacon. A beacon of salvation? Perhaps. It wasn’t the Colonel and his short, black stick figure body, no.


I always used to think that his tie was meant to be his arms and legs.

It was the Happy Science church. Of Sydney? Unfortunately I could not be brought to spiritual happiness, as they had nothing scheduled for that day and were closed. Wretched El Cantare, teasing me and leaving me to suffer. Perhaps, in his universal wisdom, he wanted me to experience physical happiness this time? Would he lead me to a new awareness in the future? Only time will tell.

The cold, hard reality of my situation finally sunk in. I knew there could be no escape, no turning back. Not this time. Perhaps there never was hope? All of my resistance had proven to be futile. My will had broken and I had succumbed to the call. Was this fate after all?

Without thinking, my feet led me towards the electronic doors. They slid open smoothly and perhaps a little too quickly. I didn’t hear them shut behind me once I stepped inside. My senses became dulled. I felt like I was wafting through life, like a cloud or vapour in a soft breeze. Most of my memories from inside this Southern temple are just a blur, a dream.

I didn’t even need to read the entire menu. The Zinger Box stood out as if it solely was adorned in flashing red and green neon lights. My eyes were affixed to it as the cashier took my order. I merely pointed towards it, unable to make an utterance in my near-fugue state. The cashier didn’t even need to look. He knew what it was. I think he said something about “regular”, I don’t know how I reacted.

Within moments I was seated and devouring the most delicious portions of fried chicken I’d ever experienced. The crunch, the spice, the surprising (relative) lack of grease and slime made every bite a moment to savour. I could feel my stomach patting me on the back for delivering this non-nutritional treat. The salt from the fresh chips and the mayonnaise on the burger and the tenderness of the chicken all revitalised my essence. I attacked my serving ravenously, only hesitating to tear at the moist towelette packaging to wipe myself down.

A calm began to fall, draping itself over me like a security blanket. The mist in my head was clearing. I’d stopped eating. I was satiated. I cracked open the can of Pepsi Max that had somehow been there all along and slowly sipped it. I spent a few moments reflecting on what I’d just done. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be that person, but I was scared because I liked it.

The walk home felt uplifting. I saw things I’d never noticed before. It even felt like I was walking faster.

I knew I’d still be bored when I got home. That’s when I bought some beer.

Hello from my extravagant keyboard

Yes, this is a bit of a nerdy post. Not that any of my other entries ever are.

I just want an excuse to write on my lovely new Ducky G2 Pro mechanical keyboard with its offensively loud blue switches.

Mine however does not have black keys. It has dark grey ones, like these (ignore the red ones, I just pinched this image off another website):

Why am I so excited about a keyboard? Well, partly because it cost about $130 but mostly because it feels so nice to type on. I’m a pretty fast typist (probably around 115 WPM on average) so I feel that I have a legitimate reason to want to experience high quality… typing? I’ve come to realise that I’m actually more comfortable typing at my desk at work than on my setup here at home. Unfortunately I don’t really know what I can do about that, as I’d prefer them to be mostly equivalent.

Anyway, yes. Unless you experience it for yourself (sexy keyboards, that is) you wouldn’t really understand. It’s like trying to cut up food with a cheap chef’s knife compared to a high quality one. Sure, the job gets done either way but it just feels so much better when you’ve got a well-crafted tool.

Speaking of carving up food – Marika and I hit up the local Crows Nest Brazilian BBQ restaurant with Howard, Tanya and Al. Yay for social eating. It really was great food and we even scored a few complimentary churros and coffee. That’s how I like it.

Summer is officially over and autumn is midway through. Daylight saving is over so it gets dark quite quickly now. A little bit depressing, but life must go on. I’ve been doing that P90X3 exercise routine. I’m actually on Day 90 tomorrow I think. I’ve skipped a few days here and there but I’m sticking to the actual time frame this turn to see how I end up over the standard course of the program. I think I’ve lost maybe 3 or 4 kilograms in total however I feel like I’ve developed a bit more muscle/tone/whatever. I’m not ripped or anything like that but I can feel and see a considerable difference. I find it easier to get through 30 minutes sessions as opposed to the 60-90 minute ones that the original program offered. Not sure about P90X2, might check that out in the near future. I really like the taste of protein shakes.

I’ve had one haircut this year and it was in the first week (maybe second?) of January. It’s really not looking good. Fucking hair. I always have too much where I don’t want it. Even my ears get big long hairs now. I’m getting so old.

Here we go once again


Christmas holidays were fun. Marika’s family came over for four weeks. I believe they enjoyed themselves. Plenty of photos and videos are floating around from that time. If you’re interested in looking at them you will probably know how to find them from Marika’s blog. I’m too lazy. Same goes for wedding photos, actually. If they’re not all on Facebook already.

It was nice to be the host for once with my Estonian in-laws. For the last few years it’d typically be me tagging along as the guest, visiting places with them or simply being catered to. It feels good to return the favour and have it all work out. Staying altogether at my parents’ house was a good idea and really made everyone more comfortable. The heatwave we had over December and January forced us to sit outside almost the entire time (and buy a bug zapper). My mother and I are the only ones who were complaining about the weather, as usual. Going back to an Estonian winter after so many sunny days and a noticeable lack of rain would be quite a culture shock. Perhaps more than arriving here on the plane initially.

The language barrier didn’t impede anyone too much. We all ate and drank enough to find a way through it. The Australians were considerably outnumbered on New Year’s Eve, seeing as Elina and Meelis swang by from… well, the outback, almost. A midnight swim was certainly a great way to cope with the mosquito and zombie attacks. And the humidity.

And the vodka.

And the cigars.

I don’t think I’ve watched so many cartoons since I was about Elisabeth’s age. I suspect she understood them better than me.

We spent four weeks away from our new place. Now we’re settled in and all furnished. It looks pretty swell, if I do say so myself. No photos. Lots of white, though.

We’ve had a few little parties here, just no birthday parties. We’ve been to a few recently but I just can’t stand with the idea of having my own. I’ve never really understood why. I don’t think I like the pressure, or is it the expectation? Maybe it’s the potential disappointment more than anything. Maybe it’s better to have the bar so lowered that you forget it’s there.

Marika and I went to a funeral not long ago, sadly. Mother of a friend. I won’t go into details here but I just wanted to mark it down. Such a shame.

It’s past midnight now which means that tomorrow is the fourteenth of February. What do you get for the wife that has everything (and who just scored 16 bottles of wine earlier in the week) and the mother who is also provided for?

Probably a new cat for both of them would work, since I’m on the spot.

That would probably be easier to arrange on the day than finding god damn flowers, now that I think about it.

I just checked the current price on flowers. Sorry ladies. You’re out.

Hello new place.

Got our Internet connection working in our new place tonight. Now I can still be bored but online as well!

So yeah.

Moved from apartment in Artarmon to an apartment we bought in Chatswood. Newer building, little bit smaller but rather sexy.

Wedding photos arrived about 14 weeks after the wedding. Marika has them online so if you know how to find them you will.

We’re still married. I’m used to wearing the ring.

Marika’s family arrive on Wednesday for one month. We’re both taking time off work for their stay.

Wifi has stopped working and our Foxtel box can’t get iQ/high def. It’s also a flakey box. Tough times.

I made a Christmas icon for myself! redknobiconxmas

What, wait. What’s this bullshit? WordPress is now displaying ads in my posts?

That’s it. I’m going to migrate again and lose the rest of my audience. All one of you.

Late night

Wedding overseas was really good.

I will speak more about it another time. Almost everything went to plan. Even the mini-honeymoon in Thailand was about as bang-on as we wanted.

I’m quite tired because I’ve sat up for the last few hours mucking around with my new virtual server. Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Really better get to sleep.

It happened. I’m a spouse.

I survived the bucks party. It wasn’t so bad. I got shot a lot due to the flurry of paintballs aimed at me, but I survived.

I also survived having my drinks spiked with vodka all night. It was probably something to do with the pork knuckle and water I had for dinner. Smart move.

Thanks, guys.

So. The fun part happened exactly one week ago:

We got married.

Turns out it was pretty easy. You just have to turn up and agree to everything.

Celebrant was quite amusing and we had a small crowd there. It was done in about 10-15 minutes. We went back to the Rocks for some beer and pretzels before hitting up another restaurant for lunch. The food was ok. I’m not sure about the photos, but that’s what you get.

Now there’s only about 2 weeks left until we depart for the “big” wedding. Sounds like there are still a few little details to take care of. Finicky things, weddings.

Still, it should be fun.