I can feel my legs!

They’re in fucking agony.

I guess that’s what happens when you try to focus your gym session around exercising your legs and then follow it up by HIIT cardio. :(

I’ve been a bit bad and started doing squats on a Smith machine. The reasoning behind my cop-out was because I am (and have always been) so inflexible that I curl my back too much doing back squats and I’m scared it will really damage my lower back.

So,  instead of actually working on my flexibility I started to cheat around it. I knew it was wrong but then I read even more into it and it’s not just wrong, it’s a big waste of time. I’d be better off doing lots really light squats and just stretching more and more.

So. I will try. I guess.

In the meantime, I feel fucking crippled.

I also feel bloated. I’ve stuffed myself with food today. Oh well. I was looking at some older photos of myself with Marika tonight. I’m turning into a fat pig again. It’s scary to think of what I would look like if I wasn’t at least doing some exercise at the gym. Ugh.

If I was living alone I would be thin, probably. Then again, maybe not. I just need a better routine. This has been one of the laziest weeks in my existence. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, I just can’t remember when I’ve spent so much time on 3 separate couches. Tonight I’m sleeping under the bar again, just for fun.

Drinking two whiskey and cokes seems to have been a bittersweet idea. I’m comfortable enough that I’ve wanted to drift off to sleep for the last 2 hours, but it gave me a slight buzz that makes me want to stay awake and pretend to be doing something interesting. After all, it’s only 2AM and I’m usually kicking around until at least 3 or 4… Hmm. How unhealthy. Well, my parents did always say I was a night-owl.

I wonder what a psychiatrist would say about my blog and its entries over the years. I’m a paranoid narcissist, I think. Anyway, whatever.