I’m Not a Faggot! Oh dear. I don’t seem to be a faggot at all. Luckily, George Hennard, Robert Mochrie, Timothy McVeigh, and George W Bush are all world famous non-homosexuals (probably) upon which I can model my sad little unfulfilling life. I grew up being taught serious and important things like sports and engine mechanics, with little time for the frivolity and campness which faggotry encourages. I am depressed and I often cut myself. I wet the bed when I was younger. Um. Yesterday.